Have you chosen your Word of the Year?

So perusing around blogs I have noticed that a lot of bloggers are choosing a 'word of the year'...a word to meditate on when you're angry, to reflect on when you're happy. It didn't take me long to choose my favourite word...I use it daily :) . I say it when I'm sad, I say it when I'm happy. I especially use it when I'm really, really angry.

Can you guess what it is?

I'll give you a hint...it's four letters long and I can't say it in front of my kids. Did I ever tell you that I have a bad potty mouth and, although my husband loves me to pieces, it's a part of me that he never really got used to?

10 points to the first person that guesses. I've already used it in my head about 10 times, and it's only 930 am :D .

Have a wonderful New Year's Eve, everyone :)

Ba ha ha...found them!!!

Kinder Christmas concert, 2003. I think this was with our very first digital camera. Kylie is wearing the red sparkly dress. Hide from me at your Grade 6 concert, will ya???

Cookie decorating, 2003. Wow, you've come a long way!!

Getting Candyland at Gramma's house. We still have that game, although no one wants to play it anymore. I'm sure by next year, Sam will play it with me :) .

(sigh...stupid Photobucket is being retarded and won't resize the pics)

...and Christmas pics...

There were fewer gifts under the tree this year, because both big kids wanted DSi's...but they both understood the whole Christmas budget thing and they were happy with it.


And Sam's favourite gift? Well, it was a bag of Polly Pocket dolls that I got from the Sally Anne for 99c. Honest to God, she wanted nothing at all to do with anything else. Not even the candy in her stocking lol. I scrubbed the crap out of those dolls and wiped them with rubbing alcohol to remove any cootie residue. Best 99c I ever spent!!

Pre-Christmas Pics

Jake and 2 of his BFF's at the Chirstmas Concert. The rest of my pics are horrible...and no pics of Kylie. This is the first year that she wouldn't dress up (wore the same dirty t-shirt that she wore all day long to school and jeans) and she was in the back row for everything, ducking down in front of the kids in the row ahead of her. I swear, just to get her back, I'm gonna find all of the really cute kinder Christmas Concert pics and post them here. Yeah, that'll teach her.

Cookie decorating. Sam loved using the icing bags, but would not let me stick even one Smartie or chocolate chip on a cookie. She'd scream, "No, cookie broken!!! Get it off!!!" if I tried lol. Oh, oh! And you know what's really awesome? Every year I say I'm going to buy a little house cutter and I forget...so Scott made me one. He used an old apple shaped cutter, and bent it into a house shape using plyers (a la Filth Wizardry ). Awesome.

Sam's first craft :) . I love this junk. She pushed beads onto a pipe cleaner, and then I twisted it into a wreath shape. I love that she can do this stuff now. And she was so proud of herself :)

Ba ha ha...a kid I went to Kinder with did this: stuck her tongue to a pole in the school yard. I don't really remember what happened afterwards, but I do know that I learned not to ever do that myself! Anyway...we watched A Christmas Story on Christmas Eve and Jacob stayed up until 11...which is really odd because he usually can't stay up past 930. I guess he was a little excited :) .

Open Letter to the Hag who Cut Me Off Today

Dear Stupid;

Hey, remember that thing today? That thing where we were each driving down the road, with snow up to our wheel wells...and you cut me off without signalling, while you were yakking on your cell phone...and then you gave *me* the finger?

Nice. Merry Christmas to you.

Bitch.

Yours truly;

Kylie's Mom.

(sorry mom)

How to Make a Grilled Cheese Sammich

First...you spread margarine on the bread, making sure to jam the knife in the bread many, many times.


Then you put a slice of cheese on the bread and stick it with the knife again...


While Mama cooks your sammich, pick a plate from the cupboard. Mama's kitchen sucks.


Still waiting for that sammich to cook. Licking the plate in anticipation.


Waving the spatula around, while Mama demands that I give it back...


Yay! My sammich is done, and Mama gave me lots of ketchup-y goodness to dunk it in. I've been wearing my pajamas all day long and I won't let Mama change me. Good thing it's nap time soon...Mama looks like she has a headache :) .

A new and stupid way to celebrate each and every month in 2010!

2010 Monthly Observances

Please add this to your favourites, as it is very important!

Honestly, how else would you know that February 2010 is both "National Cherry Month" AND "National Condom Month" (tee hee).

March 2010 holds the honour of being both "National Umbrella Month" and holding "National Procrastination Week"...but I'm celebrating that one in July :D .

Awesome. Just awesome.

Fantastic.

Only Siberia Was Colder

Woohoo!!! Edmonton was the second coldest city in the world yesterday, registering at -58.4C with the windchill at the airport. In actuality, I think it was -37C when I went shopping at noon yesterday. Yeah, that's cold enough.

And for the first time in ten years...I can't start my van this morning. No, it wasn't plugged in...I've never plugged it in lol. Guess it's time to start!!!

So Sam and I are staying home to bake today. I have the thermostat set for 18C and I'm sure the furnace hasn't stopped once in the last few days. Welcome to winter, baby!!!

2 weeks, are you kidding me ?!?!?!?!?

I just relized that Christmas is 2 weeks away...and I'm no where near prepared. Argh.

I have a Ponyo ornament on the go for Kiki...I'm not sure it will get done :( . I hate doing it, I really do...it has to be on really, really teeny aida in order for it to fit in the ornament frame that I have...oh well. Forcing myself to do a bit every night, but it's hard when I'm not a night owl. Love to be in bed by 10 but that's not happening lately.

I took Kiki to the mall yesterday, for her to shop for her friends for Christmas. She had a very small budget to stick to and we *almost* didn't go over lol. Now she is indebted to me until the New Year. Bwa ha ha...

The kids at school are starting to discuss which junior highs they will go to. Kylie is deciding between 2: our neighbourhood school or a very large school downtown. We're working on a pros and cons list for both schools...and honestly, I can think of more cons to our neighbourhood school than pros. Lots of yahoos at that school...all of the behaviour kids will be going there. I've gotten to the point where I am so sick of the lying, stealing, fighting and name-calling. It's so hard to be sympathetic to these kids' situations when their lives cross over your own kids' lives. *Sigh*...but in the end it will completely be Kylie's decision and I will support her in that. Whatever she wants to do will be fine.

Well, Sam's in bed so I should go bake something. School bake sale is next week...I think I'm making meringues and some brownie cookies, both with crushed candy canes. I hope it's successful...our fund-raising this year has sucked, with next to no co-operation from the parents. I'm starting to get very frustrated with this PAC stuff...

Later, taters.

Aw...

LOL...poor Sam. Maybe next year Santa won't be so scary. In case you're wondering... Jacob chose to go to a birthday party instead of this Christmas party. We're still going to venture to the mall, sooner or later, to get a pic of all 3 kids with Santa. But I don't know if poor Sam can handle it lol.

Hey, wanna hear me bitch?

Sure you do. You came to blogger to hear lots of miserable, hateful things, right? LOL...it's your lucky day :) .

Kylie came home one day last week without her boots. Her expensive, fall suede boots that I think are pointless. OK, they look good, but it's not like they're warm and fall lasts about 2 weeks in Edmonton. Onwards.

Kylie had forgotten to change from her indoor shoes to her boots after school, as she was yakkin' with the girls and got sidetracked. Put her coat on and dawdled home. So I tell her, be sure to look for them as soon as you get to school. It wouldn't be the first time that something nice went missing...

The next day, at dismissal, the phone rings. It's Kylie's teacher, and as I have a phone allergy, I don't answer it. This is the message he leaves on the machine:

"Hi Mrs T. Just wanted to let you know that Kylie's boots have been recovered and the perpetrator has been identified. Kylie will be bringing her boots home today."

Argh!!!!!! I friggin' knew it. So I called the teacher back, and although he couldn't tell me who stole them, he could say "check" when *I* mentioned a name.

Honestly, how does a parent NOT NOTICE when another kid comes home with suede boots that aren't hers, and that have another kid's name on the sole??? And the inside tag??? And how does said parent not notice all the other things that she has stolen from my kid: EPL library book, toys, notebooks, pens...all with KYLIE'S FRIGGIN' NAME ON THEM??? Even if the kid claims it was a gift...at some point, you would think that the parent would say, "Jeez, I've never met this Kylie person. Why is she giving you all of these things...like a library book?"

Who in the hell gives a kid a library book as a gift???

I've told Kylie that she's not allowed to gossip about the situation with her friends...and that she has to have empathy for this girl, because there could be underlying issues (so vague). But I also told her to guard her stuff with her life, and that she needs to be polite to this girl, but it's up to her if she wants to be friendly. I also asked the teacher if he could look into past instances, and possibly offer this girl some counselling. Something's not right there.

I'm trying to be understanding, but I'm so friggin' mad right now...

Lite Fried Rice Recipe!!!

I love this recipe...I think I've made it 4 times in the last month. I portion it into 1.5 cup containers and freeze it, nuke it for 5 minutes at lunch (I have a crappy microwave) and it's good to go.

From Hungry Girl (you know, that girl who's on Rachel Ray!!)

VEGGIE-RIFIC FRIED RICE

Ingredients:
2 cups cooked brown rice, fridge temperature (very important)
2 cups frozen diced carrots and peas
1 cup chopped bean sprouts
1 cup chopped mushrooms
3/4 cup fat-free liquid egg substitute (like Egg Beaters Original)
1/4 cup chopped scallions
One packet (about 1 oz.) fried rice seasoning mix (like the kind by Kikkoman or Sun-Bird)
1 tbsp. light or low-sodium soy sauce
1/8 tsp. garlic powder
1/8 tsp. ground ginger
salt and pepper, to taste

Directions:
In a small dish, combine seasoning mix, garlic powder, and ground ginger with soy sauce and 3 tbsp. warm water. Using a fork or whisk, stir until seasoning mix has dissolved. Set aside.

Spray a wok or very large pan with nonstick spray, and bring it to medium heat on the stove. Add egg substitute and scramble until cooked, using a spatula to break it up into bite-sized pieces. Remove scrambled bits from the wok or pan and set aside.

Add mushrooms and frozen vegetables to the wok or pan, and cook and stir until mushrooms have softened and all veggies are hot. Remove veggies and set aside with the egg-y bits.

Remove your wok or pan from heat, re-spray with nonstick spray, and bring to high heat on the stove. Add rice and seasoning mixture, and stir to combine. Add bean sprouts, scallions and the previously cooked veggies and scrambled eggs, and mix thoroughly to integrate. Cook and stir until entire mixture is hot, there is no liquid left in the pan, and rice is just beginning to crisp. Season to taste with salt and pepper.


MAKES 5 SERVINGS

Serving Size: 1 cup
Calories: 167
Fat: 0.5g
Sodium: 630mg
Carbs: 30g
Fiber: 4g
Sugars: 4g
Protein: 8.5g

POINTS® value 3*

****NOTE: I use white rice because I don't like brown rice. Chop up the sprouts and mushrooms really small, as in rice-sized, and they just incorporate right into the rice. I throw in an extra 1/2 cup or so, and my kids don't even know that more than half of the dish they're eating is vegetables. And I use a combo of whole eggs and egg whites...I never remember to buy Egg Beaters when I'm out.

Old pics...eek, really old.

My baby boy turned 8 in October, and as I'm a crappy blogger, I'm just getting around to posting pictures now.

Pics.

Sam and Spiderbaby...I'm always sticking this doll beside her, hoping she'll play with it. *Sigh*...it's not working...

**Photobucket is being stupid this morning so my pictures are all wonky. I hope it fixes itself soon!!!

Hey look, a new post!

Meh...changed my mind, too tired. I'll try again on Monday.

Sam won't let me sit at the computer anymore, so it's really hard to blog. Tonight was Scott's Christmas party, which was fun, but now I'm ready for bed.

Later, taters :)

Monday. Blech.

So Saturday started out really well...went off to work, which I really enjoy...chatted with some regular patients...no one yelled at me that day, which is odd...and then, around 2pm I started feeling ill. Left by 3, and I don't remember the drive home. At all. I remember getting into bed, still wearing my scrubs, and then shortly after that I was sicker than a dawg...ew, not good.

This morning (Monday), Scott is in bed and can't get up, could barely direct me how to turn on his iPhone so that I could phone his assistant. That never happens.

Sam fell asleep on the couch by 10am, watching Dora. That never happens, either. So I tucked her into bed beside Scott, and left the door open. I asked her if she wanted to play Polly Pockets with me and she said, "No, mama. Go 'way."

My poor sick baby, stealing my salad at supper a few days ago :( .

And here is my poor sick baby with that red moo-stache. The pen-wielding maniac was none other than myself, and it was done with the wipe-off pen from my to-do list board (ok, so that was a trick question - it was neither a washable marker, nor a Sharpie). Sam enjoys kitty whiskers as well, but is not against the occasional handle bar moo-stache. Then she wants me to take her picture, and then she cries if I won't let her play with the camera.

Sadly, there are no point winners this month :( . I will donate the points to charity, or perhaps save them for that attack-giraffe-with-an-invisibility-cloak-and-laser-eyes that I've been wanting for so long. I don't know.

So have a good week, everyone :) . Hope your house is flu-free!

Pics

The Halloween crew...Kiki and her crazy friends. They're all good kids. Everyone took these cute trick-or-treat bags and Kylie takes that giant pillowcase lol...


Kylie begged for this dress...I thought it was too expensive but in reality, I've spent way more on fabric for home-made costumes so I gave in ($40) . Then I had to figure out how to make a hoop skirt...but she got so many compliments and it made her so happy. Plus, not too many years left of having to buy her a costume. Do kids dress up in junior high??


I was soooo sick when we were putting this costume together. The shirt is 2 Goodwill shirts put together, and a felt collar (thank goodness I keep scraps). The cane (thanks Cori!) is a Christmas candy cane decoration, cut down with a Dollarama skull stuck on the end. I think this is the first time that Jake really took charge of his costume. He allowed me to help, but he was the boss. He was very happy with our creation :) .


Sammy Sunshine just would not sit still for pictures, so this is the best one. Once she saw that people were giving her candy, that was it!


Always has to make a face for the camera...


You know, every year I try to come up with these fun snack ideas to make for the class party and every year we end up making the same thing at the last minute: green Kool-aid ice cubes with gummies in them, in a big stock pot full of strawberry Fruitopia. This year I was sure it would be different lol.


The doctor I work for told me to take home some surgical gloves for the kids to wear trick-or-treating (H1N1 precaution). Scott blew them up into balloons instead.


And this is a picture of my baby crying. She's not crying because someone drew a moustache on her with a marker, she's crying because I wouldn't let her play with the camera.

10 points to anyone who can guess who drew the moustache on my poor baby. Bonus points if you can guess what kind of marker the perpetrator used (permanent or washable?) .

Pics.

Last week the roads were so slippery with the new snow, that I slid down the road and hit a curb...doing a HUGE number to my husband's car :( . Jacob made a snowman after school and we taught Sam how to throw snow balls.

This week, it's fall. How does that happen???

I bet you thought you'd never see the day where I would post a picture of myself...but I don't mind this one. Kylie took it today at the Leg. grounds. It's teeny so as to minimize the fact that I'm not wearing make up (wouldn't know where to put it!) and then you can't see the wrinkles... bwah ha ha...

Blah part deux.

That's French. Fancy, huh?

I feel all floopy. My brain is on a ten second delay today...my head is spinning and I have to go to work tonight. Blaaaaah...

Welcome to flu season.

Blah.

I still have nothing to say. So I'll just type a bunch of gibberish, uh-k? K!

I am working the before-school and after-school shift at the school Scholastic book fair. It's fun, I like it. Kylie and her friends helped me hang posters this morning and I perused the books. I'm not a book buyer...seems like a waste of money. Did I give anyone a heart attack with that comment? If I feel the need to buy Sam a stack of awesome board books that she can't rip apart, I head to Goodwill. The library costs me $12 for an entire year of books, movies, Wii games and magazines. I can go as often as I want to exchange them. There's a pot store across the street with lots of interesting people coming and going (mostly kids from the nearby high school)...I watch them from the window while Sam sits on the floor and plays with Lego. There's a transvestite prostitute that hangs out at the 7-11 across the street from the pot store, she's very entertaining. My 'hood is very colourful in the fall :) .

Jacob turned 8 the other day and we had the funnest, most coolest party for him ever. I really don't like little boy parties, because I just can't keep up with them but this party was perfect :) . We had beautiful weather on Sunday, couldn't have asked for a better day. I will post pictures when I get around to it. Maybe.

Jacob just finished practicing guitar, and his lesson this week was (get this): Iron Man by Black Sabbath. How cool is that??? I was so worried his lessons would consist of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had a Little Lamb, all the junk I hated about my own music lessons as a kid. He doesn't even need to read the sheet music his teacher gave him, he has it memorized already (after 2 days!).

I sent Kylie downstairs half an hour ago to get something that she had wanted to show me before bed...and I think she forgot what she was doing and went to sleep lol. She wants an manga drawing kit that she saw in a Japanese magazine, and I'm really hoping that Michael's carries something similar. Although she blew her allowance at the book store yesterday...what else is new???

I was supposed to go to Aquasize tonight with a friend but our schedules didn't mesh, maybe next week. I've never been before. Kylie has gone a couple of times with her gym class and she says it's fun, so I'll give it a try.

Anyways...later.

I have nothing to say. Well, 'cept this:

"Is there any way we can force *** and **** into a “Thunderdome“-style death match and let someone else raise these children? They could host it on Pay Per View and the proceeds would go toward the kids’ psychiatric care. But instead of “Two men enter, one man leaves,” it’s not over until they’re both dead. Or at least, unable to speak. That would be awesome."

I read it on one of my favourite celebrity gossip sites...not that I consider these pin-heads celebrities. More like celebrity wanna-be's.

No. More like COMPLETE MORONS.

Names have been removed because I don't want to contribute to the media frenzy that surrounds those poor babies :( .

So who counted the asterisks to figure out what the names are LOL?

Ode to The Boy

I love this boy.

He's so much like me some days...he's so emotional but he has the best sense of humour. His Bobby Lee impressions are spot-on, and he makes me laugh daily.

Other days, he's not like me at all. He loves a party. Loves being the centre of attention. Loves having lots and lots of other kids to play with.

He needs a haircut (again).

He thinks girls stink (even though every girl in his class has a crush on him, and I'm not even exaggerating). I kid you not, the girls chase him every single recess. I wonder what they'll do if they ever catch him?

He started guitar lessons today, and the look on his face when he talks about music is absolutely priceless. I joked about how one day, Axe will set up a table for him to sign autographs...and the girls will be lined up around the block, jumping up and down and screaming, "WE LOVE YOU JACOB!!!"...and he didn't even get grossed out when I said that. He absolutely beamed with pride.

And I'm going to be the first girl in line :) .

Open Letter to the Crazy Crack-Head Lady

***Disclaimer: no, this is not about you. If you are on my blogroll, you are a friend...in real life or online, you are my friend. I honestly couldn't resist this today, it has to be done.

Dear Crazy Crack-Head Lady;

Oh my God!!! You are bat-shit crazy, not even the good kind of crazy now!!! Holy crap, get some help!!! I know you look all healthy and stuff, but clearly you are not...this isn't even funny anymore.

Yours tuly;

Kylie's Mom.

Crochet. And stuff.

This is Rick. Rick is a corporate zombie, from the book Creepy Cute Crochet . I borrowed it from the library, but I really, really want this book for keepsies. Rick is my first crochet project ever, and as soon as I opened this book and saw the instructions I knew I had to make him for Cori, my bloggy friend. Because she appreciates the finer things in life, like zombies. Crocheted zombies eat Polly Pocket brains, did you know that? Poor Polly...she didn't even see it coming :( .


This guy is a Cthulhu , which is some sort of mythical creature, from the same book. I know what you're thinking...you're thinking, "could you please use that word in a sentence?"...to which I would say, "Oh no, there's a cthulhu in the cookie jar!" .

I've also been working on some crocheted 'sponges': that's one thing that I've really wanted to end my addiction to, those stupid Dollarama dish sponges with a scrubby on one side. I know they will probably outlive humanity in a landfill somewhere, and that has always bugged me. So I have been frantically crocheting double-thickness, four-inch square "sponges" with a skein of cotton yarn from Wal Mart. No, I don't like crocheted dish cloths. I don't like how floppy they are. I like that a sponge just sits in my hand and doesn't flop all over the place. They're working out really well, I'm pretty happy with the way they've turned out. I can't show you a pic, because I've used them all now and they don't look half as pretty as when I first made them lol.


Ponyo noodles, as Kylie calls them. We went to see Ponyo a few weeks ago, and now Kylie is obsessed with ramen noodles cooked in those covered bowls (am I the only one that didn't know that you pour boiling water over ramen in these bowls, put the cover on, and then in a few minutes you have cooked noodles???) . Anyway, we had to run all over Chinatown looking for these bowls. Yes, we tried T&T and they were out. Anyway, Kylie is using the cheater chopsticks because she was super hungry and didn't have the patience to fart around with the usual chopsticks.

ITLAPD is coming!!!

This time of year, I get ITLAPD newsletters in my inbox regularly. You can sign up for them here: The Poopdeck .

Today's newsletter included a tutorial for those not sure how to begin talking like a pirate. I thought it may be of use to someone...somewhere.


** A Note for Beginners

Saturday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and most of you know what to do.

But what about beginners? What about those who’ve never babbled like buccaneers, cursed like corsairs, or fumed like freebooters? How do you do this thing called pirate talk?

Here are a couple of handy hints, courtesy of The Pirate Guys.

* Me hearties – This is your basic starter kit for pirate palaver. Tack this phrase on the end of every sentence and your on your way to talking like a pirate. “I’ll have a pepperoni pizza, me hearties.” “Fill it with regular, me hearties.” “Turn your head and cough, me hearties!” You get the idea.

* Remember the Five A’s. These five words that are the glue that hold pirate talk together. They are:

-- Ahoy – Hello
-- Avast! – Stand and give attention, or more simply, listen up!
-- Aye – I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.
-- Aye Aye – Yes boss, I’ll get right on that.

And of course –

-- Aarrr! (Not aarrgh. That’s the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin.) Aarrr is extremely flexible, the blunderbuss of your filibuster vocabulary. Load it up under any circumstances and let fly. Basically “Aaarrr” means whatever you want it to mean. It can mean, among other things, “Pour me a tankard of ale,” “I am well satisfied with this cheeseburger,” “Excuse me, old chap, but I’d rather you not look at my girlfriend that way,” or “Hey everybody! Look at me! I'm talking like a pirate!”

Basically, “Aarrr” means, “I’m here and alive!”

So there you have it. Now sit down and watch a couple of Robert Newton movies for your advance work, or read our books – “Pirattitude! So You Want to Be a Pirate, here’s How” and “The Pirate Life: Unleashing your Inner Buccaneer” available at http://talklikeapirate.com/book.html – and you’ll be all set for Saturday. And the rest of your life.

Sammy Sunshine is 2 !!!!

Holy crap, has it been 2 years already??? My baby is in a big girl bed and everything now!!!

Sammy Sunshine celebrated her second birthday with lots of cousins and assorted aunties, uncles, grammas and one Papa. We had a blast.

Kylie finished her dress for Sam just in time and we got lots of compliments. Such a bright, cheery fabric, and Kylie put a lot of time into it. My gosh, do I ever love my new sewing machine. I don't know why I didn't buy it 10 years ago.



I was only able to get one decent picture of her opening presents, just because there were so many little kids crowding around, which is cool. She had so much fun with all of them.

Oh yeah...it was also Scott's birthday, and I was so busy frosting cupcakes and cleaning that I didn't even have time to make him supper when he came home from work. He had to make supper himself lol. Poor guy. I tried to make it up to him by watching Underworld with him after the kids went to bed on Friday night, but I seen to have a mild form of ADHD when it comes to movies...I just couldn't keep up with it and ended up crocheting and Googling a few things while he watched. There's a prequel and a sequel and we watched the middle one because he felt that one was the first one...oh my gosh, when did movies become so much work???